The concept of perfectionism appeared in the 19th century, the phenomenon as always has been. We have prepared a list to help you determine if you have any signs of perfectionism.
10. Criticize yourself
There is constructive criticism, you are adequately aware that you could do better, but you did not. You are looking for causes, eliminate them, or even accept the situation as it is. This is quite normal behavior. If you are always dissatisfied with your achievements, harshly criticize yourself, this is an alarming bell. You scold yourself for trifles, raising them to the rank of big problems. Stumbled when reading a report at work; not folded enough napkins for dinner with her husband's parents; received for the control not 5, but 4. The perfectionist will even lose his temper. He begins to scold himself, to get angry. It seems to him that others are doing much better. Comparison exacerbates the situation.
9. Do not take defeat as an experience
The process is not important to you, the result is important to you. If there is no result, then experience is not counted. That is how most people fixated on the ideal think. But any experience is useful in life. And it is impossible to always win and to be the best in all areas. After all, if you graduated from a car driving course, but did not receive a license, this does not mean that you have not learned how to drive a car. Very often, students are worried and cannot pass the exam the first time. This means only one thing, you need to gather strength and retake. This example applies to all areas of activity.
8. Do not praise yourself
Whatever happens, you will never praise yourself. Even if you were chosen as the best employee of the company, you will still think that you missed the comma when you passed the next project. You are a beautiful girl who won the beauty contest, but you are not happy with the victory, all your thoughts about a broken nail and that you are imperfect. There are a lot of such examples. Excellent work, the ability to find a common language with customers, comfort and cleanliness in the house - you need to praise yourself for everything. This encourages further activities. Every day, find a reason and praise yourself, it will positively affect your emotional background.
7. Do not want to make even the smallest mistakes
We are all human, and we all have the right to make a mistake. You do not allow yourself the slightest mistake, perceive it as a failure. For every mistake, the perfectionist begins to scold himself, and this contributes to failure even more. Relax, think about the importance of your oversight. If you are a doctor, and your mistake is worth someone's life, then you can blame yourself and repent. In most cases, such a person exaggerates the significance of another miss. If you can’t concentrate and calm down, answer your question whether you will worry about this problem in a year. The answer is negative? Then and now you should not be upset.
6. Demand perfection from yourself and others
You want to be an example everywhere, in everything and in everything. It doesn’t matter whether it’s work or home environment, a school meeting or a cozy cafe, you should be better than everyone else everywhere. High performance, active citizenship, training, the eternal race for excellence. Of course, this is a personal choice for everyone. But if you choose such a life for yourself, then do not make excessive demands on others. They are unlikely to appreciate your advice, and you will be left without friends. Moreover, if you continue in the same spirit, your acquaintances will turn away from you.
5. Poor criticism
It would seem that the perfectionist strives for perfection, criticizes himself, but he does not tolerate criticism from others. Although I should listen, accept and improve further. But everything happens quite the opposite. Any reckless remark addressed to him, he considers a personal insult. They are susceptible to criticism, afraid of failure. They consider themselves imperfect, but when others tell them about it, it undermines their self-esteem, causes anger and other negative emotions. Try to take criticism calmly, this is just the opinion of an outsider. Immediately notice that life will become much easier.
4. Avoid failures
You cannot hear no. This determines your desire to do only what you always do. You easily do a certain job, demonstrate your talents, but you don’t step back from the script you created. You solve the problem only this way and not otherwise. This is not bad, but not good either. Using proven methods, you are giving up on the new. Avoid new knowledge and skills, because you know that the first time it will not work perfectly. You do not even want to try, because you are not sure that you will do everything right.
3. Constantly dissatisfied with life
You are constantly unhappy with life. Do not know how to feel comfortable even in case of victory. Do not know how to enjoy your achievements. You perceive them as luck, luck. But blunders and defeats you accept as proof of your failure. You don’t have enough all the time, you think that you could do the job even better. Living at this pace is very difficult. Do not forget that if you show discontent, those around you will soon not want to communicate with you. Nobody likes frowning and grumbling people.
2. Have psychological problems
If a person strives for perfection, but lives a normal life at the same time, then this is even good. If achieving an ideal becomes such an obsession that it has psychological problems, then you should go to the doctor. Depression, neurosis, insomnia, most likely you will not pay much attention to them. Or try not to convert. But they can lead to even more serious diseases. Therefore, if you find yourself with symptoms, consult a doctor immediately. If you do not want to go to the hospital, then at least share it with loved ones. Perhaps they will find a way out and help you.
1. Your self-esteem depends on achievements
You yourself come up with strict rules and standards. And your self-esteem is completely dependent on achievements. That's just even having achieved success, you still remain unsatisfied with the quality of the work performed. So your self-esteem is underestimated, so you do not. People with low self-esteem live hard, they do not use the opportunity that fate gives them. Moreover, this eternal pursuit of ideal exacerbates their psychological state. Love yourself for what you are, and not for what you do.
Now you can determine if you have a penchant for perfectionism. If most of the answers are positive, then you should work on yourself. Remember, everything is good in moderation. Life is too short to pursue an ideal.