Each person at least once in his life experienced these feelings - jealousy and envy. Even if you are confident that this will never happen in your life, you still need to deal with these feelings.
It’s unlikely that you can get rid of them for the rest of your life, but you can learn to control them. Relations with a partner will improve, you will cease to envy more successful friends and acquaintances. Surprisingly, although the nature of these feelings is different, you can cope with them in the same ways. That is, you can simultaneously get rid of jealousy and envy.
10. Practice empathy
Not everyone is endowed with the ability to feel the emotions of another person, as their own. And indeed, in recent times, there have been much fewer empaths than several decades ago. People consider it unnecessary, useless. If you want to cope with envy, try at least mentally to be in the place of the person whom you envy. He is happy, and you smile, he is happy, try and you will become a little happier. After risking to feel someone else's happiness, your mood will improve, positive emotions will supplant negative ones. Well, in the case of jealousy, too, does not interfere with learning to feel the emotions of a partner.
9. Stop controlling everything
The jealous and envious very often have a desire to control. The first of them cannot live a minute if he does not know where his half is. If this is your case, then rather get rid of this desire. Do not interrogate, do not check the phone, do not call or write SMS every 5 minutes. Otherwise, you risk your relationship. People do not like to try to limit their freedom. Treasure your chosen one? Control better than yourself. The envious is trying to control intangible objects. It does look ridiculous. How can you keep track of what doesn't belong to you?
8. Celebrate your defeats
Again this month, the prize was received not by you, but by the nasty Kolya from the neighboring department? Or maybe a colleague gave your wife a bouquet? This is not a reason to despair. Celebrate this day. You can come up with a name for the holiday, call like-minded guests. No matter how strange it sounds, but it really helps. Rejoice for Kolya and for yourself. And do not forget about the wife’s employee, because he didn’t forget about her professional holiday, and you didn’t remember about him. Learn to laugh at your defeats; life cannot consist of victories alone; there is always a loser. And if today you became one, then you should not worry, the next time you will be lucky.
7. Stop comparing
Man invents problems for himself. This happens in most cases. Never compare yourself with other people; comparison will not be in your favor. Comparing yourself with more successful acquaintances, you will only lower your self-esteem. All people are different, all are endowed with different talents. If your neighbor has an innate ability to sell, and you have a technical mentality, you will not be able, like him, to work in a large trading company. Of course, you can learn everything, but abilities play an important role. Therefore, do not envy his position, but look for yourself in your field. Do not compare yourself with the friends of your soulmate. They may be richer and more beautiful, but she loves you. With these comparisons you will only rekindle your jealousy.
6. Live your life
Useful advice that will come in handy in any situation. Whatever happens - live your life. Pay less attention to people around you. Especially avoid beautiful photos on social networks that give the illusion of a rich and happy life. This recommendation will not be superfluous to people who are in a relationship. Do not get hung up on your partner, leave time and effort on yourself too. Work, friends, hobbies, hobbies, you can come up with a lot of interesting activities. In addition, your partner will be much more interesting with you if you develop, learn something new.
5. Develop self-love
A necessary condition for victory over envy is self-love. Love yourself, understand that you deserve the best. But fate decreed that someone was born rich, and you have to achieve everything with your labor. So do not waste your energy on negative emotions. There has never been equality in the world; there have always been rich and poor. Deal with it. Happiness is not at all in possession of things and not in material well-being. Love yourself, thank your parents for giving you an invaluable gift - life. For the jealous, this advice is also relevant. Love your partner, but do not forget about yourself. There are many men and women in the world, and you are alone.
4. Communicate
This simple recommendation will help solve many of your problems. Of course, it is not easy to decide on a conversation with someone you envy, and it is not always possible. But if the object of your envy is your close friend or good acquaintance, tell him about your feelings. He will most likely laugh at you. He will tell that he has no less problems, and he has achieved all that he has with great difficulty. After talking with him about this topic, you can defeat envy. In case of jealousy, conversation is the best way to strengthen relationships. Tell your partner about your suspicions, but don't blame them for anything. Say that you are afraid to lose and are jealous of every pillar. If your chosen one loves you, he will understand, try to calm you down and not give more reasons for jealousy.
3. Focus on positive actions
Use jealousy and envy as an impetus for the development of your personality. Do not think about how to avenge or harm the object of envy. You should not be visited by such thoughts. If your colleague has been promoted, do not try to get him fired. Better direct this energy in a different direction. Create a clear algorithm of actions for the development of your career. Well, if your girlfriend works as a fitness instructor, and she is always surrounded by inflated handsome men, you should not dream about how you blow this gym together with them. Just tidy up your figure.
2. Be thankful
People envy those who are smarter, richer, more beautiful and more successful. Look around, many live worse than you, but they don’t think so at all. They just enjoy what they have. Try it and you. Thank fate for the fact that you are healthy, that you have a family, you are not hungry, you have a roof over your head, you have the opportunity to learn, you live in peacetime. Make a list of what you have. Reread it when the feeling of envy reappears. Instead of being jealous of your loved one, say “thank you” to your fate for having one. Many people live alone and hope to find their destiny, and you do not value your love.
1. Seek professional help from a psychologist
If you cannot cope with envy and jealousy yourself, then you will have to turn to professionals for help. Sometimes such feelings can be signs of serious mental illness. But do not be afraid, this may not be your case. Even so, they will help you. In general, in Russia it is not customary to go to a psychologist. Nevertheless, it is very useful, it will help you deal with your own feelings. You can get rid of negative emotions, understand yourself. Your life will get better, and you will receive invaluable experience. In the future, you can independently cope with negative emotions.